Weaning and Whining

Anyone want a malfunctioning thyroid?

Thanks to this wonderful master-organ, my Endocrinologist (Dr. Ball) has put me on a beta-blocker. Unfortunately, those are HUGE nursing no-nos, as they pass into the milk and are extremely bad for baby. You know what that means? Yep.

I have to wean my son.

I don't think my heart has hurt so bad in years... and it's not getting any easier. Bruce has taken to formula (soy) amazingly well. We tried him on Similac Sensitive first, but he got so gassy on it that we had to switch. He will take a bottle from anyone, even me, although he will glare daggers at me the entire time now. We started weaning him on Wednesday, so it's still really early in the process. I nurse him every other feeding when I'm there, and only pump at work to relieve the pressure from getting so full. Oh, and I still nurse him in the middle of the night; it would be cruel not to at this point.

Even though this is nowhere near when I had intended to wean Bruce off the breast, I really am thankful that we got in three solid months of nursing. He's such a chub, so I know he got a lot out of it!

This may sound incredibly stupid, but I have this fear that he and I won't stay as bonded as we are now once I quit breastfeeding him. He's only 12 weeks... he still smiles at just about everyone (then again, he CAN be pretty selective with whom he graces with a smile... we think he's just a VERY social little guy), so how do I know if he really loves his Mama? It's so stupid and so selfish, but breastfeeding was the only thing going right for our little family for the last 12 weeks, and now it's leaving... it's really, really hard to cope with that.